"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large numbers." -Anon.
"There is a fine line between genious and insanity... We have erased that line." -Anon.
"We're not theives! ...Well, we are theives. But the point is we're not taking what's his!" -Firefly
"Also, I can kill you with my brain." -Firefly
"You're going to stupify it beyond... stupifidity!" -Zim
"Happiness is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth"
"The best things about Alzheimer’s is: you can hide your own Easter eggs."
"I live in my own little world, but it’s ok, they know me here."
"It’s not Attention Deficit Disorder, I’m just not listening to you."
"Don’t get your knickers in a knot. Nothing is solved, and it makes you walk funny. "
"Silence is golden, but shouting is fun!"
"When your a fat little kid, there are no more see-saws...only catapults."
"Computer lie #1: You’ll never use all that disk space."
"hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?"
"A day without sunshine, is like, you know, night."
"Conserve energy. Fart in a jar."
"Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool."
"I know Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words."
"Kiss me twice, I’m schizophrenic!"
"Why buy shampoo when real poo is still free?"
"Of course I’m in shape, isn’t round a shape?"
"Therapy is expensive, popping bubble wrap is cheap."
"Elevators smell different to midgets."
"Everybody is somebody else’s weirdo."
"Man who eat prunes get good run for money."
"Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement."
"Man who scratch bum should not bite fingernails."
"7/5's of all people do not understand fractions."
"43% of all statistics are worthless."
"A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead."
"Everything has beauty but not everyone sees it."
"A closed mouth gathers no feet."
"Your heart understands what your head cannot yet conceive, trust your heart."
"It is never too late to be what you might have been."
"A morning without coffee is like something without something else."
"Proofread carefully to see if you any words out."
"Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!"
"It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility!"
"There's nothing wrong with being a loser, it just depends on how good you are at it."
"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you."
Does the noise in my head bother you?"
"Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world."- Dave Barry.
"I'm gonna live forever, or die trying." - Joseph Heller (Catch 22).
"We are the suckiest bunch of suckers that ever sucked!" - Homer Simpson.
“I want cool hobbit hair!” ~Chris Graham
"I gave a speech once," he said suddenly and apparently unconnectedly. "You may not instantly see why I bring the subject up, but that is because my mind works so phenomenally fast, and I am at a rough estimate thirty billion times more intellingent than you. Let me give you an example. Think of a number, any number." "Er, five," said the mattress. "Wrong," said Marvin. "You see?"
"Why be annoying, when with a little bit of effort, you can be completely impossible? ~Carsten Dahlgaard"
"We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons." ~Alfred E. Newman
"Maturity is a high price to pay for growing up." ~Tom Stoppard
"The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage." ~Mark Russell
"To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer." ~The Farmer's Almanac
"I've had it with reality, I want a fairy godmother"
"There're 10 types of people in this world... those who understand binary and those who don't."
"Well, this is going to get a little interesting..." "Define interesting." "Oh my god, oh my god we're all gonna die?"
"Did you know that two out of five people's math skills are below average? Isn't that horrible."
"He who flings mud loses ground."
"Violence and technology? Not good bed-fellows."
((More to come..... Maybe... if we want to add more. We may decide to like it the way it is. We may also decide to take matters into our own hands and say more clever things just for the reason that we can quote ourselves.))